


Forging Better Memories

by FeralScribe



Series: It Started Out With a Kiss [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Body Worship, Caleb Widogast Deserves Nice Things, Come Swallowing, Declarations Of Love, Don’t copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Genderfluid Mollymauk Tealeaf, Honey, Hurt/Comfort, It's not selfish if it's mutual, Love Confessions, M/M, Mollymauk is a Caring Top, Oral Sex, Other, POV Mollymauk Tealeaf, Post-Coital Discussions of Death, Scars, Tickling, widomauk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2019-12-30 00:54:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18304877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeralScribe/pseuds/FeralScribe
Summary: Molly isn't great at dealing with the past. He's very much an in-the-moment "fight, flight, or fuck" person. Then Caleb confides in him about his own past and Molly knows he can't destroy Caleb's trauma, nor can he abandon the man he cares for so deeply. That leaves one option to help Caleb cope. He'll have to provide Caleb with memories of affection, compassion, and pleasure that blaze brighter than the pain. Fortunately, that was something Molly hoped he would get to do someday anyway...An alternative timeline toChapter 16ofEnjoy It While You Can.





	1. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Caleb's room on their ship, Molly has just learned the wizard's backstory and decides to help him forget the past, for now.
> 
> (Some context: this is essentially a different path from where things went in _Enjoy It While You Can_ Chapter 16 after Caleb invited Molly to his room on their ship alone to tell him about his past. Caleb is sitting on the edge of his bed. Molly is kneeling on the floor in front of him. Nott is outside making sure no one interrupts.)

If it weren’t for the hard thud of his heart against his chest Molly would think time had frozen. Even the ship doesn’t feel like it’s moving. Caleb stares at Molly’s open hand for an eternity. Molly remains firm. It’s okay if Caleb doesn’t want this, but Molly wants it badly enough that he’s willing to try.

Eternity ends. Caleb slowly lowers his arm into Molly’s grasp. Molly lets out the sigh of relief he didn’t realize he was holding. Rather than pull Caleb to him, Molly dips his head to tenderly kiss each and every scar. It takes a while. There are so many. By the time he finishes he’s practically sprawled in Caleb’s lap. He puts his forehead to Caleb’s chest. Caleb’s heartbeat vibrates against his horns, fevered and strong.

Light pressure on the back of his head. Caleb is stroking his hair. Molly smiles uncontrollably, somewhat glad Caleb can’t see his face right now. Through the warm feelings of compassion and empathy a wicked thought sparks. He can’t be sure Caleb is thinking the same thing, but by the Weaver he hopes he is.

Molly pushes himself up to be eye-to-eye with Caleb. “Do you feel better?” he asks.

Caleb sighs. His shoulders relax. “ _Besser_ , _ja_.” The blue in his eyes is clearer now. Somehow they are the afternoon sky and the evening stars at the same time. It’s too much. Impulse kicks in again. Molly leans forward. Caleb tilts his head just enough to better align himself as Molly’s lips touch his. Molly takes this small gesture to mean that Caleb is thinking at least something along same lines as he is. And there’s the fact that they’re still kissing. Molly lets Caleb be in control. They can do this however long he wants to, even if that’s only one second more.

Another second passes. And another. And another. Molly holds perfectly still. In case the next second is the last he concentrates on the sensations of the moment. Caleb’s facial hair is prickly yet soft against Molly’s chin and nose. He smells like burnt evergreen and something musty yet pungent, like overturned moss or the inside of the carnival tent after all the patrons had left and trampled the grass beneath them, and of course mingled with all that is the scent of fresh sea air. Molly can hear and feel Caleb breathing with carefully measured breaths. Another second, and another…

Molly parts his lips, just to see what will happen. Caleb does the same, but only enough to keep their lips connected. Despite initiating this, Molly gives control back right away. One second, two seconds, and Molly is suddenly overconscious of the fact that the last thing he ate was that “roasted root surprise” stuff Caduceus made for breakfast with the spicy tomato paste/sauce stuff on it. However, Caleb had the same thing and his breath isn’t too bad. It’s warm and shaky. He’s trembling. Molly wonders if that means he wants to stop.

Then the tip of Caleb’s tongue shyly touches Molly’s lower lip. Molly reins in the urge to pounce on Caleb and pin him to the bed. Instead he responds with the same gentle curiosity. Caleb grows more bold with each passing second, exploring the novelty of kissing a fork-tongued tiefling. They acquaint themselves with each other’s tastes. Molly has kissed many people like this, and it’s almost always the same. This time, maybe because it’s Caleb, maybe because he has wanted this for so long and never thought he’d get it, it’s so much sweeter.

Molly matches Caleb move for move to stay at his comfort level, even though Molly would gladly dig his fingers into that gorgeous copper hair and hold Caleb in this kiss all morning. It seems Caleb is of a similar mind, since his bandaged hand reaches up to touch Molly’s cheek then slides around to the back of his head. Molly rewards this with a soft humming sigh of approval.

It has the opposite of its intended effect. Caleb pulls away. He winces. “I am sorry.” He covers his face with his hands and digs his fingernails into his forehead. Under his breath he whimpers, “ _Peinlicher blöder Idiot, warum hast du das getan_ …”

There’s only one word in that sentence Molly recognizes and he doesn’t like it. “Caleb, you are not an idiot. You’re a fool, but not an idiot.”

“I’m both,” comes the groaned reply from behind Caleb’s hands.

“No, you’re not. Come here.” Molly has to wedge himself between Caleb’s legs, but he pulls Caleb into a hug. Something shifts in the space between them. A tickling heat shivers through Molly’s body. It’s up to Caleb if he wants Molly to do anything about that…

Caleb's arms flex against Molly’s chest, but not to push him away. He’s withdrawing further into himself. Molly holds him tighter and strokes his hair. That gets him to relax again after a moment. It becomes more obvious that Caleb is enjoying some of this despite his distress.

“You don’t have to do this, Mollymauk.” Caleb sounds more resigned than upset now. “I know what you must think of me. I wish I were not a coward, but I am. Don’t waste your pity on me.”

Molly releases Caleb so he can look him in the eye again. Or he would, if Caleb weren’t staring down and to the side. “Caleb, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about you right now and to be perfectly honest I don’t think I can say many of them out loud without possibly making our friendship awkward, but I assure you, nowhere in my head or my heart do I hate you, or feel repulsed by you, or whatever it is you’re afraid I’m thinking.” Molly takes in a deep breath and lets it out with a huff. “Let’s put it this way: my main concern is how _you_ feel, and if there’s anything I can do to help you feel…good, then you say the word and I’ll do it for you. Anything. Anything I can do to ease your pain for even a moment. You want me to leave and pretend this never happened, I’ll do it. You want me to kiss you again, I’ll do it. You want me to, I don’t know, pretend I’m the guy who hurt you so you can punch me in the face, great, let’s do it. Just tell me what you want.”

Caleb’s eyes move rapidly to take in all of Molly. He glances at where Molly is pressed into him several times before his gaze settles there. His jaw trembles. “I th-th-th-think you are right about…a-a-about certain things complicating our fffriendship.”

So he is having the same thoughts. That’s good. Molly puts his hands on Caleb’s waist and slides them down until his thumbs settle onto the crest of his hips. His tail traces slow sultry lines in the air behind him. “What things?”

Molly’s mouth is watering before Caleb makes a move, but without a word Caleb has his arms around Molly and pulls him back into a kiss. His tongue slips past Molly’s lips with no resistance. Molly greets it with his own tongue like an old friend. As his arousal grows he can feel Caleb responding in kind. One little nudge of his hips is enough to make Caleb tense and moan. Molly curves his hands down to grip Caleb by the ass so he can pull himself even closer. Another moan, this time from both of them.

“So you _are_ into this,” Molly says with a grin. “Jester mentioned you had a girlfriend once and I wasn’t sure if you were one of those people who limits themselves one way or the other.”

Caleb touches the tip of his nose to Molly’s. “I’ve… _kissed_ a boy before, Mollymauk.”

“Just the one?”

“Well, now it is two.”

Technically it’s one and a half. Molly accepts that people consider him a man and refer to him as such because he has a cock and “masculine wiles”, as Nott had once put it, but he has also presented himself as a woman in a few towns — much to his carnival family’s amusement — and when he was crafting his new identity, gender seemed utterly pointless. Most times if people flat out asked Molly would respond with a different arbitrary adjective that suited him instead, like “fabulous” or “charming” or “not interested”. Caleb clearly doesn’t care about the gender of his partner though, so there is no point in souring the mood with needless corrections.

“Was your first…what was his name? Eodwulf?”

Caleb freezes for a moment. He darts forward to answer with another kiss.

Molly, however, dodges out of the way. “Ah ah, use your words, dearest.” He kisses Caleb softly below his ear.

“…Yes, it was Eodwulf.” Caleb tries to kiss Molly again, but Molly pulls back. Concern clouds Caleb’s eyes. “Is that… Is that a problem?”

Molly laughs. “To me? Absolutely not. But I want to be sure you’re kissing me for the right reasons.” He kneads Caleb’s ass. It’s a fine — yet small — ass. Not too bony, just enough give beneath his fingers. Caleb squirms. “You know, before we decide to take this any further. …Did you want to take this any further?”

Caleb swallows. “I would like that, yes. And… And I’m kissing you because I want to. H- _Have_ wanted to. When we first met you were…so much, too much, I didn’t… I couldn’t...” His hands clench on Molly’s back. “Th-Then I got used to you. I liked being around you b-because people would be too busy staring a-at you to notice me, but…I found myself sssstaring quite a bit as well. I came to admire you, enjoy your company more than I thought I should. And now that…that we’ve come this far, what’s the point in…holding back…” He hesitantly leans in one more time. Molly closes the distance and Caleb melts against his mouth.

There’s still a possibility Caleb is mostly doing this to distract himself from what’s going on inside his head, but Molly detected no deceit in his answer. The confession made his heart swell, a hot burning weight that somehow makes him feel lighter. If his affection for Caleb grows any more he won’t be able to breathe. There’s a dire need for release between them and Molly can’t wait anymore.

Molly lifts the hem of Caleb’s shirt. Caleb pries himself away from their kiss long enough to get the shirt over his head, then he’s right back into it. Molly appreciates his fervor. As he told Jester, being desired is a good feeling. He wants Caleb to feel the same way, to know just how much he desires him. Goods gods, does he desire him. Most of all he desires the Caleb he has glimpsed on rare occasions, the Caleb who is happy and relaxed and brightens the room more than a thousand of his Dancing Lights ever could. He breaks their kiss to nuzzle his face into Caleb’s neck, careful not to accidentally stab him with his horns.

“Caleb Widogast, you’re a fucking mess but you’re a fucking beautiful mess, did you know that?” Molly nips at Caleb’s ear. Caleb gasps and grips Molly like he’s trying to keep him from sweeping away out to sea. Molly embraces him in return. The skin of Caleb’s back is cool and dotted with goosebumps. “I’m not going anywhere, love. I won’t leave this room until you’re satisfied with my company.” Molly tenderly licks at his teeth marks, taking the edge of Caleb’s ear into the cleft of his tongue. “When was the last time you were in someone’s mouth?”

Caleb takes a few deep breaths before answering. “Years,” he pants.

“Did you enjoy it then?”

Caleb nods. “Mhm.”

“Would you enjoy it now?”

The nodding intensifies. “ _Mhhmm_.”

Molly leaves one more kiss at the corner of Caleb’s jaw then gropes for Caleb’s belt. Poor Caleb tries to help, but his flustered hands only fumble with the buckle and somehow make it tighter. It’s Molly turn to interrupt _him_ with a kiss.

“Caleb, I want you to relax. I’ve got it from here, okay?” Caleb tries one more time, but when Molly strokes his hair with a gentle tug that pulls his head back so their eyes can meet — fuck, Molly will never get over how beautiful those eyes are — he nods and Molly nods along with him. “Good. Lie back.”

On his own Molly makes short work of Caleb’s belt, the lacing on his pants, and his boots. Before stripping him completely Molly climbs on top of Caleb for another kiss. Caleb pulls him down so their bodies are flush together. Oh, if it weren’t for the layers of fabric between them, Molly would take him like this here and now. He thrusts his hips a few times for some self-satisfaction. _Nnnff_ , and satisfying it is, yet not as much as he would like. His cock can feel Caleb’s so close yet unreachable and it yearns. It yearns for companionship, for a tight warm place to snuggle into, for any sort of touch from someone so wonderful, so brilliant and brave as Caleb Widogast. They are sadly lacking in lubricant, and Molly did promise Caleb his mouth, so for once Molly denies himself that one desire under the personal promise that it will happen someday. For now, with their hands grasping and groping with the desperation of lust and their lips and tongues lavishing each other with affection, Molly’s cock can only find satisfaction in the friction of Caleb’s lap.

Caleb hasn't indicated that he is uncomfortable yet, which is good. His own hips push up into Molly’s, seeking the same satisfaction. He makes the most adorable pleading sounds, a combination of moans and whimpers and something like a meow, all done as quietly as he can manage. The last thing they want is Nott to burst in with a loaded crossbow because she thinks Caleb is in trouble. Still, it’s amusing to hear Caleb struggle with his self-control like this, knowing that means he’s holding back and there’s more Molly can possibly draw out of him. Molly thrusts again just to see where it takes them.

Amidst the stream of sounds coming from his mouth Caleb murmurs, “Molly… _bitte_ …I need… _nnnhhhhhhmmmnn_ …” That breathy whine tells Molly all he needs to know. The time for foreplay is over. Good. Patience was always among his most difficult virtues to uphold.

“Okay, no more teasing.” Molly kisses down Caleb’s chest. He takes a direct route, only deviating from his path to plant a kiss over Caleb’s heart. When he gets to the soft trail of reddish-brown hair that leads to his destination, Molly looks up to confirm one last time with Caleb. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Caleb sits up enough to establish eye contact and nod. “Please.”

Molly grins. “I aim to do just that.” He pulls Caleb’s pants down over his legs. With one swift tug he casts them to the side. Only one sock came off entirely with them. Molly removes the last bit of clothing on Caleb’s body — aside from the bandages on his one arm that honestly look good on him by themselves — and takes a moment to admire what’s before him.

The sun exposure has started to darken the skin on Caleb’s face and fingertips, but the rest of him is still as pale as the first time Molly ever saw him naked in the baths. The only thing that has really changed is the erection that’s currently begging for attention. It rises out of a sparse patch of hair that also encompasses his balls in a thin coat of copper curls. He certainly doesn’t have the largest cock Molly has ever seen, not even on a human, but it’s a good length and width and the foreskin is stretched tight around the base of his cockhead. It looks manageable, which is a relief. Molly has only ever done this to a man once. He has been on the receiving end dozens of times, though, so he knows the ins and outs of the act, so to speak. His tongue is already coated so thickly in saliva he has to swallow or he would drown in it.

“I apologize in advance for the teeth,” Molly says. That was the major problem with the last guy, though fortunately it wasn’t an issue with women. He can do something similar for Caleb, if he’s into that. But that’s something to think about another time. “If I hurt you let me know and I’ll…do _not_ that.”

Caleb responds with another wordless mewling groan. The meaning is clear. “Do what you must, Mollymauk,” he’s saying, “but do it now.”

Molly crawls into position, wrapping his tail around Caleb’s bare ankle. He begins at the base by Caleb’s balls. Caleb gasps as Molly’s tongue glides up the shaft, the tips splaying to tease and please as much of him as they can. Molly starts slow, fitting just enough of Caleb in his mouth to determine whether sharp tiefling teeth will actually be a problem. Caleb has no complaints, so Molly goes as far as he can without gagging, which to his surprise and delight is almost the whole way. Still, he’s sure his teeth have scraped something. Caleb’s reactions are only positive, though.

The first time with a lover is always a treat because Molly gets to learn new things about his partner. Caleb has so much to teach him. Molly learns the melody of his gasps and sighs as his tongue finds Caleb’s sensitive places. He learns that Caleb pushes himself up onto the balls of his feet and digs his toes into the floor as his fists clench around the bedsheets when he wants Molly to suck him deeper and harder. Best of all Molly learns how beautiful Zemnian sounds when spoken so softly and breathlessly, even though the only word he can understand is his name.

Through trial and error Molly finds the best angle and speed to get the most out of Caleb without choking himself. He experiments with pulling Caleb’s foreskin back while he sucks and pushing it up so he can wriggle his tongue in between it and the slick smooth head. Caleb’s noises become oddly muffled. Molly eases up enough so he can see why. Caleb has both hands clasped firmly over his mouth. His chest heaves with every inhale and every exhale is a keening moan. Molly swallows his entire length for a brief moment. The coarse hair tickles his nose the way Caleb’s beard did. Caleb seizes up then lets out a long low squeal that turns Molly on so much he almost collapses.

That stunt was costly, though. Molly’s eyes are watering, his nose is running, and his throat isn’t too pleased with him. To give himself a break he kisses from the head of Caleb’s cock down to the base then licks his way back up, flicking his tongue side to side in quick lashes against the shaft. When he gets back to the head there are already a few pale drops leaking out. Molly flexes his tongue to push the tips together so he can stick them into Caleb’s slit and lap up the slow trickle. The taste is heavenly. He presses his tongue into the slit as far as it will go in a greedy search for more. Caleb snatches his pillow, holds it over his face, and cries out in ecstasy.

With that confidence booster, Molly goes back to sucking. Caleb keeps the pillow over his mouth. He’s starting to sound desperate. Molly wants to get him off so badly. His own erection is threatening to rip a hole through his pants, straining to get this same treatment from Caleb’s mouth. No time for that now. Caleb needs him. He redoubles his efforts. His movements are less elegant and careful. Caleb makes a few soft yelps like he’s in pain.

“Am I hurting you?” Molly asks.

Caleb clutches the pillow to his chest. “ _Nein, nein_ ,” he pants. “No. Mollymauk I’m so close please don’t stop, plea _aahh_ —!” He doesn’t get a chance to finish begging because Molly is already back at it. The pillow goes over his face again.

Molly gets into enough of a rhythm that he trusts himself to do something with his hands at the same time. One he snakes under and around Caleb’s thigh to rub at the V muscle above his hip. The other he uses to fondle Caleb’s balls. They’re firm and plump, ready to burst.

Caleb writhes. He clenches the pillow in his teeth and grabs Molly by his horns. It’s almost time. Molly licks from the base to the head to tease Caleb’s slit again, coax him into unleashing his load. Caleb grips him tighter and pushes him back down. Molly convulses from Caleb’s cock ramming into the back of his throat. At the same time, it’s so hot that Caleb is taking charge that a moan of his own vibrates up from his chest and the hand around Caleb’s balls clenches.

That does it. Caleb slaps one hand back onto the pillow in time to muffle a scream. Molly feels the rush under Caleb’s skin against his tongue a split second before the back of his throat gets coated in cum. There’s more than he was expecting. He forces himself to stay until he’s sure Caleb has finished, but then it starts dripping down the wrong pipe and he coughs reflexively. A bit goes up his nose and makes things worse. He struggles to swallow it instead. He has to suppress more coughing to get it all down.

Caleb props himself up on his elbows, his brow furrowed in worry. “Are you okay?”

Molly nods, though when he tries to speak he resumes coughing. Fortunately, Caleb’s room has the same set up of a water pitcher beside a wash basin and a drinking glass that Molly’s and Caduceus’s room has. Molly staggers to his feet to pour himself some water. He chugs half and gargles the rest. His nose and throat burn a little less.

“Molly, _are you okay?_ ”

As if the genuine concern weren't endearing enough, when Molly turns to reassure Caleb he notices Caleb's pale skin is flushed an adorable shade of pink from the top of his head down past his collarbones. Molly smiles. The irritation in his throat returns. “I’m fine,” he chokes. “You took me by surprise, dear, that’s all.” He dampens the washrag in the basin to wipe off his face. The cool fabric is bliss against his flushed skin. He rinses the rag off, pours another glass of water, and gives them both to Caleb. “Here. You probably need these.”

Caleb takes the rag first. “ _Danke_ ,” he says. Rather than clean himself he unfurls the cloth and rests it over his groin. Then he accepts the glass with a shaking hand. He tries to push himself up into a sitting position, but it’s as though he has no strength left. Molly knows the feeling.

“Hey, don’t worry. I’ve got you.” Molly sits next to Caleb and offers support. Caleb leans into him as he takes little sips of water. He’s covered in sweat. Molly takes the top sheet and pulls it up over Caleb’s shoulders. “There you go. Need anything else?”

“No, thank you.” Caleb puts his hand on Molly’s thigh. He slides it towards the bulge in Molly’s pants, but Molly catches him by the wrist. Caleb gives Molly a confused frown. “You don’t want…?”

Molly kisses Caleb’s forehead. “I’ll be okay.” His cock disagrees, but it’s not important. Right now Caleb is the most important thing in Molly’s world. Furthermore he knows that if Caleb touches him now he'll never leave. Even the heat of Caleb's palm on his leg was enough to make his vision fade as every nerve in his body screamed in glorious harmony for more. Anything beyond that, and no force on any plane could pry Molly away from Caleb until they were both drained of everything they had to give each other. Caleb already seems exhausted. Amid the thrum of his lust Molly feels a familiar protectiveness and desire to care for this fragile human. “You need time to recover. Focus on breathing. Do you feel dizzy at all?”

“A little, _ja_.”

“Okay, then definitely focus on breathing. And drink your water.”

Caleb takes another sip. He goes quiet for a moment. “Why are you doing this?” he finally asks.

“Which part? The aftercare or the whole thing? Same reason for both; I wanted to do something to help you feel good." Molly's tail twists sheepishly. "I am sorry if it was rough. I…don’t do that a lot.”

“No?”

“No. I’ve only ever done it one time.” Molly smiles. “Well, now it’s two.”

Caleb fidgets with the rim of the glass. He rests his head against Molly’s collarbone. “What was the first one’s name?”

Molly shrugs. “Don’t remember. I was a little drunk at the time and I did it for fun. And to slake my curiosity. The second time I did it, though, was with someone special.” He rubs his cheek against the top of Caleb’s head. “Someone I care about.”

“… _Ja_?”

“Yeah. Had my eye on him for a while, but I didn’t want to rush things. Seemed like he had a lot going on and that it was best to wait until I was sure he was in the right mind to ask. Still don’t know if he is, but at least I know he wants me too.” Molly sighs. His tail tip thumps the mattress with a slow drumming rhythm and his erection recedes at the hint of possibility that this was a mistake. “We did kind of rush through this though, didn’t we?”

Caleb shrugs himself away from Molly. “I’m sorry.”

Molly puts his arm around Caleb and tenderly pulls him back. “I didn’t mean it like that. I enjoyed it. I hope you did too.”

“…I did.” Caleb drinks more water. “Though I don’t know why you would want _me_ of all people. I’m not the best looking or the most charming, not even in our group. I’m certainly not the most…desirable.” He curls his lip. It’s clear where his mind is, and he shouldn’t be there. Not now. Not ever, if Molly can help it.

“Caleb,” Molly says, wrapping another arm around him, “you are handsome and charming and clever and kind and worth every good thing you have in your life and then some. My life is better because you’re in it. Like I said, I don’t care what happened in the past. That kid wasn’t you. That was a _kid_ , one who was manipulated and tortured and taught that the only thing he was good for was destruction and domination. I prefer the man who survived all the hardships that came after that. He’s incredible and it’s an honor to be with him, as a teammate, a friend, or whatever he wants me to be.”

Caleb sits quietly for a few more moments. He doesn’t try to break out of Molly’s embrace. He doesn’t move at all. Molly nuzzles him again and caresses Caleb’s leg with his tail. Caleb’s eyes dart back and forth. He chews his lip and scratches one of his scars. Molly was afraid of this. Caleb is overanalyzing things, searching for a way to make this into a punishment or another reason to hate himself.

“I’m sorry I grabbed your horns like that,” Caleb says. He’s really clutching at straws.

Molly shrugs. “You’re not the first, and you weren’t the most careless. It’s the same as grabbing my hair, except the horns are attached better.”

Caleb nods then finishes his glass of water. “Thank you again for this.”

“You are most welcome.”

Caleb bounces the leg Molly’s tail isn’t touching. Molly braces himself. “And you’re sure you don’t want me to do anything for you?” Caleb asks.

“Relax and recover,” Molly says. “What would please me most right now is seeing you happy and taken care of. And you know what they say, if you want something done right, better do it yourself.” He tightens his embrace briefly then lets Caleb go, one arm still draped loosely across his back. “Speaking of which, if you ever want to do this again, all you have to do is ask. Not now, because I’m sure your bodyguard is getting antsy about how long you’ve been out of her sight, but whenever — if ever — you want, okay?”

That brings a smile to Caleb’s face, however small and unsure. “Okay.”

Molly turns Caleb gently by the chin to kiss him. No tongues, nothing fancy, merely punctuation to their agreement. He lets Caleb decide how long it lasts, as always. It lasts a good while, long enough to let Molly consider some things. Half of it is how he can improve his technique for next time. One or two thoughts go towards what Caleb can do for him. Then he gets an idea…

Caleb droops his head into the cradle of Molly’s shoulder. Molly strokes his hair. He could stay here like this all day if there weren’t the ever-increasing chance that Nott will burst in at any moment. “Caleb?” he murmurs.

“Hm?”

“There’s… If it’s okay with you, I want to give you something. Something physical.”

“What is it?”

“Do you know what a ‘love bite’ is?”

“…I think so.” Caleb sounds hesitant.

“Nowhere anyone else would see, I promise.”

Caleb shifts against him. “Where did you have in mind?”

Molly takes Caleb’s unbandaged arm in his hand and rubs his thumb on the smooth underside.

“…Oh.”

“I want to leave my own mark, even though it’s temporary. It can’t get rid of the scars, but when you put the bandages back on you’ll be hiding an extra secret, one that, I hope, carries better memories than the old ones.”

Caleb turns the empty glass in his hands. After a fair amount of silent contemplation he presents his bare arm in front of Molly. “You’ll have to renew it every time it heals,” Caleb says.

Molly grins. “I can manage that.” He kisses Caleb from elbow to wrist. He designates his target with a flick of his tongue, then clamps his mouth down and sucks. Caleb hums a little sigh. Molly isn’t sure how long to do this. He stops when he thinks he can taste blood. The result is a silver-sized purple bruise with pinprick specks of deep red in it, ringed in the shallow indentations of his teeth. The bold color is a stark contrast to the faint pale lines in Caleb’s already pale skin. It certainly looks like it will take a while to heal.

Caleb examines the new addition to his body. “It reminds me of you,” he says. “Purple with red spots.”

“It’ll be like taking part of me with you wherever you go,” Molly remarks. He’s pleased with the thought. “Do you like it?”

“I do.” Something sparks in Caleb’s eyes and smile. “I’m curious what it would look like if I gave you one.”

Molly grins. “We’ll have to find out, but later.” He gathers Caleb’s clothes and returns the glass to the table while Caleb gets dressed. His next stop is definitely going to be his room because his balls will pop off like ripe plums if he doesn’t empty them out soon. Caleb shouldn’t be the one to do it this time. Molly needs him to know that this…new direction of their friendship, or whatever, isn’t simply about getting each other off. His goal was to express his adoration for Caleb and prove that he’s not always a selfish hedonist. That isn’t to say he didn’t enjoy this encounter, but Caleb’s enjoyment was the priority. It’s most likely not the reaction to his horrific tragedy of a backstory that Caleb expected. Molly considers it a reward for the wizard’s trust.

Caleb is redressed and rebandaged and back on his feet. There’s a slight wobble in his step that he’ll be able to walk off in a few minutes. “Thank you again,” he says. “For everything.”

Molly gives him a sweeping bow. “My ears, shoulders, hands, mouth, and et cetera are yours whenever you need them.”

Caleb smiles. Maybe someday Molly will see a full smile from him, but the gentle upcurve of his lips is heart-meltingly cute as well. They embrace. This is something Caleb is already better at. He even lets go of the tension in his shoulders after a moment or two.

“Are you going to be okay?” Molly asks, twirling his fingers in Caleb’s hair.

“ _Ja_ , I think so.”

“Well, if you need me, you know where to find me.”

“That I do. And… And the same goes for you.”

The last thing Molly does before he leaves is take Caleb’s face in both hands and kiss him softly on the forehead. After all, Molly has heard that kissing a wound can help it heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise surprise, I'm an avid Widomauk shipper. Maybe it's because I'm also a chaotic-good polyamorous genderfluid disaster who happens to be pining for their scruffy ginger blue-eyed beloved ( ~~long distance is a BITCH~~ ) but that could be a total coincidence.  
> Wanted this to be in the main fic, but it was too off-canon and...well...Molly isn't as ready to commit as I'd like him to be. There is a second part to this, though I don't know when it will be ready. There are...other paths Molly has to explore first...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heart wants what the heart wants, and the body wants what the body wants. Sometimes they want the same thing, and so...
> 
> (This was originally supposed to be a quick little smut scene, but then these two had to bring _feelings_ into it. Ah well, it's adorable enough that I'll allow it.)

Molly assumes from the way everyone looks at him for the rest of the day that he must be glowing. Nott had scowled at him when he first left Caleb’s room, but he was in such a rush to get to his own that he barely had time to flash her a smile in response.

He got himself off twice before emerging for lunch. The first time he had burst like a shaken bottle of champagne. The intensity left him exhausted to the point of delirium. In this half-conscious state Molly had a vision of Caleb coming to him, naked and hard and confident. He had climbed onto Molly and spread himself open so Molly could fill him with his cock. Like most waking dreams, Molly knew it wasn’t real, but he didn’t care. He had slicked up his palm and let that dream take him and Caleb to a spectacular simultaneous climax so sweet that Molly had actual tears in his eyes when he finished.

Caduceus and Yasha both definitely notice something is different. Molly tries not to smile too much or look over at Caleb too often, but Yasha nudges him with her elbow, nearly causing him to drop his fork.

“What did you do?” she hisses inquisitively.

“Had a good talk,” Molly whispers back.

Yasha raises an eyebrow at him. She chews her mouthful of potato with a smirk. Molly holds her gaze, though he desperately wants to look at Caleb. He crams a massive bite of boiled potato into his own mouth, never breaking eye contact with her. He knows she can read him. Let her make deductions from that rather than saying anything in public.

Caduceus, on the other hand, specifically asks for Molly’s help with the dishes, and only Molly’s help. Beau points out that Molly hasn’t taken a watch shift yet, so he either has to get up on deck or get some rest before doing the night shift. Molly volunteers for the night shift then starts gathering the empty plates and cups from the table.

“I take it you spoke to Mister Caleb,” Caduceus says when they’re alone.

“I did,” Molly replies.

Caduceus nods. “I’m not sure what’s going on between you two, but you look happy.”

Molly smiles to himself. “I am.”

“And so does he.”

That was what Molly had been trying to see. His stolen glances in Caleb’s direction had only told him so much. Hearing it from Caduceus gives him a sense of relief. “That’s good.”

“…Did you want to talk about it?”

Molly chuckles. “Sweetheart, aside from that being private information, I don’t want to sully your innocent mind with the details.”

A bit of deep pink colors the inside of Caduceus’s ears. Molly changes the subject by asking about the harpy Caduceus is trying to decompose. Caduceus is much more comfortable talking about that.

Caleb is on Molly’s mind for the rest of the day. He dreams about him during his pre-watch nap, not-so-subtly makes eyes at him throughout dinner, spends most of his watch lost in fantasy. Those fantasies vary from explicit to simply holding Caleb’s hand while looking at the stars. Caleb probably knows about stars. Caleb knows about so much. Molly was never much for learning stuff unless it was useful for a con, but he would gladly lie back and listen to whatever Caleb had to teach him. Especially if Caleb didn’t mind a little bit of fondling during their lessons.

Nothing happens during the night. The moon is nearly full, so before it sets Molly sends a prayer to the Moonweaver. “Did I do the right thing? I’m supposed to make my own path, but I don’t want to drag Caleb along it if he’s not ready. I want to be with him, though. I’d be willing to walk along his path with him at his pace, but I know I can be…impatient. It seems like he wants to be with me too. And the world has been so unfair to him. He’s lost so much. It breaks my heart to think about. I have to do _something_ for him. Please, _please_ show me what that something needs to be. Give me the patience and wisdom to help him. He’s so dear to me. My poor Caleb…” He bows his head to finish the prayer. “If this is why you let me come back from the dead, then let me serve you well by serving him.”

Molly gazes at the moon, hoping his pleas were heard. In the corner of his eye he sees a streak of light. A shooting star. It was nowhere near the moon, but Caduceus would probably consider it a sign. Molly will too, for now.

* * * *

After breakfast the next morning, Molly makes his move. Everyone disperses to do their own things for the day. Caleb heads down to his room with Nott. Molly follows. Nott eyes him over her shoulder, but his room is down this way too. It’s only when Molly calls out to Caleb that she gives him a full suspicious scowl.

“Nott, go inside,” Caleb says. “I’ll be right there.”

“I can wait,” Nott says flatly.

Caleb smiles one of his tiny smiles at her. “Mollymauk isn’t going to hurt me, you know that. Please?”

Nott shuffles her feet. Her ears twitch. With one final warning glare at Molly she goes into their room and closes the door. No doubt she’ll be listening from the other side. That’s fine. Molly doesn’t have much to say…out loud.

In two strides Molly is right at the edge of Caleb’s most personal space. For anyone else, Caleb might have preferred they stay another foot back, but Molly isn’t just anyone. He’s an arm’s length away, though he has a powerful urge to pin Caleb to the wall and have this discussion a mere few inches from his face. Caleb is regarding him as though he expects him to do so.

“How are you?” Molly asks.

Caleb shrugs. “Oh, I am fine, as usual. And how are you today, Mister Mollymauk?”

Molly smiles. He always liked it when Caleb called him that, and from the way Caleb just said it he’s almost certain that Caleb knows. “A little tired, but the ship is safe and that’s what matters.”

“ _Ja_ , that is very good.” Caleb takes a small step towards Molly. “I wanted to thank you for…your understanding yesterday. I…I er, um, haven’t…haven’t had a…uh, deep conversation with another person like that in a long time and it…felt good. And I was ww-wondering if you want-t-ted to have another.” It’s like watching a baby deer try to walk with a giant jingle bell around its neck, adorable and awkward and a little sad because it shouldn’t have to struggle with all that extra burden. Someone needs to come get it off him.

“Any time, Mister Caleb.” Molly takes his own step forward. “I need to lie down for a bit, but maybe in…say…two hours? That way we’ll both have time to prepare what we want to say.” He winks.

Caleb flushes red in a heartbeat. “I— I—” He swallows. “That sounds good, _ja_. W-Would you prefer to talk in my room or yours?”

“My room. Caduceus shouldn’t need it for anything, but I can tell him I’ll need my privacy for…a while.” Molly intends to have Caleb all to himself as long as possible. There’s no telling when he’ll get another chance.

Molly slips his tail under Caleb’s hand. Caleb flinches away at first, but once he realizes what it is he wraps his fingers around it. Molly wriggles it a little to encourage him to play with it. Caleb gets the message eventually. He rubs the flat of the tip between his thumb and forefinger. Molly hums in approval. The feeling is similar to when Caduceus rubs his ear, except instead of the tingles starting in his head and going down his back it goes up the entire length of his spine and spreads out further and further the longer Caleb touches him.

“Then I will see you in two hours,” Caleb says with a little smile.

It is so hard to pull away from Caleb, and not just because Caleb seems reluctant to let go of Molly’s tail. The urge to pin him against the wall hasn’t gone away. If anything it’s stronger now that they’re closer together. Molly eyes several places on Caleb’s neck and shoulder he would love to kiss and nip right now. He can practically hear Caleb sighing his name. His heartbeat rushes in his ears. His throat is dry but there’s a pool of saliva under his tongue.

The spell is broken when a few deckhands come down the stairs singing a song loudly amongst themselves. Molly pulls his tail from Caleb’s grasp and takes a swift step back to a more respectable distance. He nods to Caleb. “See you in two hours.”

As Molly settles in for his post-breakfast nap, Caleb’s voice enters his mind. “Erm, just to confirm, we were talking about sex, _ja_? If so, should I bring anything? If not…oh dear…”

Molly hopes his snort of laughter doesn’t get transferred through the Message spell. “Yes, darling, we were talking about sex. If you have anything we could use as lubricant, that’d be helpful. Otherwise, bring whatever you need to have a good time.” He dozes off thinking of all the ways he can best give Caleb that good time.

Some time later he awakens to Caleb’s voice again. “I am sorry if you were still asleep, but if you were, it has been an hour and a half and I thought you would want time to…prepare.” Beneath the timid quaver in his voice Caleb sounds eager, excited. Molly is already a little hard.

“I was, so thank you. You should prepare yourself as well.” Molly is groggy enough that he can’t think of anything else suave to say, so while the spell is still recording his reply he quickly adds, “Can’t wait to taste you again.” That sounded weird. His drowsy mind is aware that that sounded quite weird. It’s true, but sometimes the truth is _weird_.

Molly puts on enough clothes to be presentable and goes to find Caduceus. He brings the pitcher from their room with him. “Sweetheart, could you fill this for me, please?” he asks.

“Sure thing.” Caduceus mutters the spell to summon water and aims it into the pitcher. He has been doing that at mealtimes to ensure everyone has enough to drink, and whatever is left over gets used for washing. He can control how much he summons, though, and he fills the pitcher neatly to the top. “Were you thirsty?”

“No, wanted to wash up a little.” It’s not a lie, but Molly suspects Caduceus can tell it’s not the whole truth either. “I’m taking some self-care time. Mind letting me have the room to myself until…oh…let’s say lunch?” That’s a couple hours away. Might not be enough time to do _everything_ he wants with Caleb, but it’s absolutely better than not having any time at all.

Caduceus nods. “You could do with some self-care. Just let me grab a few things, then uh, it’s all yours.”

They pass Caleb in the hall. Molly gets a rush of excitement that makes his tail snap up so quickly it whips him in the back. Caduceus greets him warmly and Molly flashes him his most charismatic smile. Caleb hitches in his step for half a second, then mumbles a reply to them both and keeps walking. Caduceus rummages through his pack, puts some little metal tools in his pockets, then takes his staff and leaves.

As he passes over the threshold, Caduceus turns to say, “I’ll be sure to knock if I need to come back in for anything.”

Molly smiles. “Thank you, sweetheart.” The door clicks shut and Molly scrambles to get ready.

First he rubs himself down with a wet cloth, giving special attention to any parts of him where sweat gathers or anything that might get pressed to Caleb’s face. He brushes his hair so there won’t be any knots for fingers to get caught in. He takes off all his jewelry and massages some sandalwood fragrance into the velvety coating of his horns. Before he puts some clothes back on he checks himself over for embarrassing blemishes. There’s nothing egregious, to his relief. He pulls on his pants and a simple shirt so as not to overwhelm Caleb the moment he walks in the door.

That moment comes sooner than Molly expected, though knowing Caleb he is precisely on time. Molly arranges himself on the bed seductively and calls out, “Come in!”

The door opens just wide enough for Caleb to slip inside, then he hastily shuts and locks it behind him. He freezes in place when he sees Molly. “Oh. Hallo.”

“Welcome,” Molly says with a courteous smile. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Caleb doesn’t quite know how to do that. He takes a few halting steps in various directions, then goes to stand awkwardly by the wall opposite the bed. Molly flips around to lie on his stomach, legs kicked up behind him, and simply takes in the full spectrum of color in Caleb’s hair as the late morning light streams through the window to illuminate the shades of copper and bronze on one side while the shadows on the other side make it look like intricately carved mahogany. Blush creeps into Caleb’s cheeks. “What?”

“Nothing,” Molly says dreamily. “Admiring your beauty, that’s all.”

Caleb withdraws into himself, but there’s a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. “Ah. Um, _das ist_ … Ahem. That is nice of you to say. I, er, I am not sure what to do now but I…I want to…to return the…uh, _favor_ you gave me yesterday.”

“So I gathered.” Molly rests his cheek on his folded arms. “You do realize we’re not keeping score, right? It’s not a ‘You did something for me now I _have_ to do something for you so we’re even’ thing. I want us to do things together because we _both_ want to do them.”

“ _Ja ja_ ,” Caleb says with a vigorous nod. “I understand, and I _do_ want to do things with you on a mutual level, but…” His confidence wavers. He scratches at his bandages. “No one has… I haven’t…” He takes a deep breath and stares at the ceiling. “It has been a long time since I had an orgasm like that and I don’t know if I can do the same for you but I would very much like to try.”

Molly grins. His tail sways in lovestruck loops. “Frankly I wouldn’t mind never having an orgasm again if it meant I got to spend every day in bed with you.” Then he realizes how that sounds. He jolts his head up and quickly adds, “Not that I don’t think you could give me any. Good gods, I almost came in my pants yesterday just from when you put your hand on my leg. I just mean there’s no pressure.”

Caleb nods. “I appreciate that. But…um…what uh… How would you like me to…to… Um, s-since you have me here, what would you like me to do? F-For you?”

“Hmm…” Molly has thought about this. His imagination presents him with so many lovely pictures. Caleb with his head between Molly’s legs; Caleb naked on all fours; Caleb looking down at him while he’s balls deep in Molly’s ass; Caleb looking up at him from a pile of pillows, sweat matting his gorgeous hair and his eyes half-closed with feverish lust while Molly’s cock works that sensitive spot inside him. Molly likes that one. They’ll get to that. There’s one thing Molly wants first. “Caleb, love, I want you to touch yourself for me.”

That wasn’t the answer Caleb was expecting. He shifts his legs tighter together. “…Why?”

Because Molly is afraid that Caleb is too disgusted by himself to truly find pleasure in his own body. Yes, Molly got him to cum once, but that was a heated moment and the shock probably brought Caleb out of his head long enough to enjoy it. Molly wants him to know he’s beautiful and worthy and sexy, even when he’s alone.

“Because I asked. Please?” Molly folds his hands under his chin and bats his eyelashes at Caleb. “Pretty please?”

Caleb shakes his head with a soft laugh. “You’re already cute enough, you don’t have to try so hard.”

Molly rolls onto his back, tilting his head to look at Caleb with a smile. He wags his tail playfully. “I’m not trying. I’m naturally this adorable. I have to tone it down around the rest of you because you’d spend all day saying, ‘Oh Molly, you’re so cute,’ ‘Everyone come look at Molly being cute,’ ‘Molly, just when I thought you couldn’t get _any_ cuter, you proved me wrong.’ Nothing would ever get done.”

“ _Klar_.” Caleb covers his mouth with his hand, but not soon enough. Molly saw that smile. That smile showed _teeth_. Progress. Molly puts his hands behind his head and tucks his legs into a sweet yet sultry pose, flicking his tail in a come-hither gesture. Caleb’s cheeks turn a darker shade of pink. They also shift upwards as his hidden smile widens. “Stop it,” Caleb says in a tone that doesn’t sound like he wants Molly to stop at all.

“You know what’s cuter than me?” Molly asks with a more casual wave of his tail.

“What is that?”

“You.”

Caleb goes bright red. His hand drops. “Oh. Well, I um…I don’t know about that…”

Molly points. “See that? That there? That’s cute. That brief moment when you forget that you hate yourself and actually take the compliment.” The remark sounded better in his head. Caleb grips his forearm and casts his eyes to the floor. Molly can see the apology forming in his mind, though he has nothing to be sorry for. All traces of Caleb’s smile are gone. Molly sits up and pats the bed next to him. “Darling, come here.”

Caleb takes his seat, head still bowed, not looking at anything in particular. Molly adjusts himself to sit cross-legged as close to Caleb as he can. He leans in to kiss below Caleb’s ear. Caleb relaxes a tiny bit. Molly gently massages the back of Caleb’s head. Caleb closes his eyes and presses into Molly’s fingers with a soft sigh. Molly takes this moment of proximity to study Caleb’s face in profile, the curve of his nose, the shape of his lips, the freckles on his cheeks, the sweep of his eyelashes. He’s so beautiful. Molly wishes he could accept that about himself.

“This is the problem with never shutting up,” Molly says. “Things come out of my mouth before I have a chance to think about them. I didn’t mean to be so blunt, but it was clear even before you told me everything yesterday that you don’t think as highly of yourself as other people do.”

Caleb chuckles, not opening his eyes. “Well, other people don’t know the whole truth. _You_ wear your heart on your sleeve. You have a thought, you say it. You see something you like, you go after it. I’ve been…” He gestures to his head. “I’ve been in here for so long, completely alone until I met Nott, that it’s…difficult for me to see things from outside of myself. I know my motivations and I know they aren’t always the best, but you… You really do leave every place better than you found it, even when your motivations are selfish. I admire that about you, and…I wish I could be more like you sometimes.”

“Don’t,” Molly says. “There are enough impulsive bastards in the world. We need people who are kind and clever and cautious. You’re wonderful just the way you are. Except, y’know, for the hating yourself part. _That_ you are free to change as soon as you’re able.”

“Oh, I don’t know if that will be soon at all,” Caleb says with a half-smile. “I’m trying to be better, but I’m also well aware that I’m not a good person to begin with.”

Molly strokes his hair. “So you think, and you just admitted that you’re not good at seeing yourself the way others do. I see a man trying to undo some of the awful things in the world, and that’s a noble endeavor. Doesn’t matter that you were involved in some of those awful things. You had enough good inside you that it broke you rather than letting you continue down that path.” He takes Caleb’s hand and brings it up for a kiss. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep reminding you that you’re wonderful until it sticks in that keen mind of yours.”

Caleb hasn’t turned his head to look at Molly once since he sat down, but at that he hesitantly leans sideways into Molly’s chest. “Thank you. I’m sorry that I’m…erm, a bit of a downer sometimes.”

“No need to apologize for the pace of your progress. You’re here now, and that’s something I never thought would happen. Or, well, I hoped it would happen someday, but maybe after a year or so, if we stuck together that long. This…I like this. This is good. I’m very happy you’re here.” He kisses Caleb on the forehead. “Did you bring anything?”

“Hm? Oh. _Ja_ , _ja_ I brought...” Caleb reaches into the pocket of his pants. He pulls out a fist-sized bundle wrapped in what appears to be the same waxed cloth the sails are made from. Judging by the jagged edge of the fabric, it might even be a piece of the sail torn off in the harpy attack. Caleb tugs at the silver thread that holds the bundle together and unfurls it, revealing a glistening oozing honeycomb.

“...Honey?” Molly asks.

Caleb nods. “In pre-Calamity Marquet warm honey was used as both a lubricant and a…uh…a prophylactic.” He chews his lip as his cheeks regain their deep rosy blush. “I erm...I...may have tested it...d-during my time at the Academy...” He clears his throat. “It’s quite effective.”

Molly grins. “Mister Caleb,” he laughs. “No wonder you haven’t bent reality to your will yet. You spend far too much time reading smut and studying ancient sexual practices.” He dips one fingertip in it and rubs it with his thumb. After a bit of friction, it does indeed become quite slick. He licks it off his fingers, but allows it to smear on his chin. He makes a big show of sticking his tongue out to lick it off, though he put it where he knew his tongue couldn’t reach it. “Oh dear, would you mind getting that for me?”

“Of course.” Caleb swipes the honey away with his thumb and pops it into his mouth. Molly is momentarily dumbfounded that Caleb didn’t pick up that he was being flirtatious. However, Caleb can’t maintain his stoic façade for long. He smiles around his thumb and chuckles at Molly’s expression. Molly laughs, his tail curling in delight at Caleb’s little joke. Caleb leans in and licks the remaining honey off Molly’s face. “There, I think I got it."

“Are you sure?” Molly asks. “Maybe you should do it again, just in case you missed any.”

Caleb gets a drop of honey on his finger. “You know, I think I do see some, riiight _there_.” He pokes Molly’s cheek and kisses away the dot of honey he left behind.

Molly smiles. He’s simultaneously aroused and enamored. He can’t decide if he’d rather keep up their teasing games or rip his clothes off right now and let Caleb choose where he can put his cock. “Did you want to warm up the honey? It’d be easier than rubbing it in my hands, but I don’t want you to get your bandages all sticky.”

“Oh, um…they’re fine. I can wash them later.”

“…You know you don’t have to wear those around me, right? I’ve seen what’s under them. Well, what’s under _one_ of them, but I’m guessing it’s the same on both sides?”

“ _Ja_ ,” Caleb says, scratching at his wrist. “It is.”

Molly takes both of Caleb’s hands. “Darling, take the bandages off,” he says softly. “Please? The scars don’t bother me. I know you’ve got voices in your head telling you to be scared of opening up to people in case they don’t like you, but you don’t have to listen to them. You don’t have to listen to anyone who tries to make you feel worthless or wretched, not even yourself.”

“But I should listen to you? Is that it?” Caleb raises an eyebrow. “Weren’t you the one who said we can always trust you to be a liar?”

Molly winces, even though there’s no malice in Caleb’s tone. “I lie to protect myself, and to protect you from the things you shouldn’t know. But what you _should_ know, and I _swear_ this is true, is that you are amazing and gorgeous and _not_ a horrible person, and I _honestly_ don’t care about your past beyond being quite upset that you had to go through all that.” He squeezes Caleb’s hands. “Cast whatever charm you want on me to make me tell the truth. I’ll say the exact same things. In fact, _please_ , if it’ll help, then do it. You need honey for that spell, right? We’ve got that. Do it. Make me tell the truth. I won’t try to resist it, I promise.”

Caleb clenches his jaw. His eyes dart from Molly’s face to the honeycomb and back. He swallows. Molly can understand his hesitation. Refusing to cast the charm means he either trusts Molly, or is afraid of the actual truth; casting it means he’s willing to manipulate Molly’s mind the way people did to him, even if Molly said it was okay.

“It’s up to you,” Molly says. “But I want you to know without a doubt that I think the world of you, Mister Caleb.”

There’s a pause, then Caleb gathers a bead of honey on one finger and smears it across his lip. Molly relaxes his mind to allow the charm to take effect. “Mister Mollymauk,” Caleb says, “I _suggest_ you stop talking so you can use that mouth to kiss me.”

Of course. _Of course_. He _does_ talk too much. Caleb is right here in front of him and he’s wasting time with words. Molly happily leans in to obey. The honey was used up by the spell, but there’s a faint taste of it left behind. Or perhaps Caleb’s lips are naturally this sweet and Molly never noticed. How dare he.

Caleb slips his hands out of Molly’s, but doesn’t use them to touch him. They’re doing something else. That’s fine. Molly doesn’t care what he’s doing. He asked to be kissed and so kissed he shall be. Molly caresses his palm up Caleb’s cheek around his neck and into his hair. The change of textures from short and rough to long and smooth is one of Caleb’s many tactile delights. Molly wants to learn them all. For now he’s content to delight in the gentle softness of his lips, the warmth of his tongue.

Then those are taken away. “Okay, Mollymauk, you have done as I asked. Consider your task completed.”

The haze of the charm fades from Molly’s mind. He smiles. Caleb trusts him. At the very least, he trusts that if Molly is lying — which he very much isn’t — it’s only with his best interest in mind. Molly goes to take Caleb’s hand again. He freezes at the sight before him.

Caleb has the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to the elbow, revealing both of his slender, pale, _naked_ forearms. The bandages lie discarded on the floor by the bed. Molly stares. There’s symmetry in his scars. The bastards who experimented on him were methodical. The ones on his left arm are a mirror of the ones on the right. The only difference is that Caleb’s left arm still bears the dark affectionate bruise Molly gave him yesterday.

Molly gently touches the exposed skin. “Wow…” Caleb lowers his head in shame, causing a burst of empathy in Molly’s heart. He turns Caleb’s face gently to nudge their foreheads together. “Darling, I’m so proud of you.” He kisses the bridge of Caleb’s nose. “Thank you for trusting me with this. You don’t have to hide anything from me. No matter what, you’ll always be dear to my heart.”

Caleb looks up through his eyelashes. “And… And you’ll always be dear to mine, Mollymauk.”

Molly cups Caleb’s cheek. “My Caleb,” he says, voice thick with adoration.

Caleb strokes his thumb up the sharp edge of Molly’s jaw. “Mm— M-My… My Mollymauk?”

Molly beams. “That’s me. _Your_ Mollymauk.”

Caleb smiles. _Actually_ smiles. Good gods, Molly was not prepared. He wants to cry at how lovely that smile is. It softens every line on Caleb’s face, chases all the sorrow and pain from his eyes, makes him glow like the first rays of the sun in the morning. It’s so beautiful Molly can’t even breathe, nor does he feel that he needs to because this smile gives him life. “My Mollymauk,” Caleb repeats, his smile growing stronger. “ _My_ Mollymauk.” The words sound so sweet on his lips. Molly needs to know how they taste.

“My Caleb…” he murmurs as he plies Caleb with another kiss.

“My Mollymauk,” Caleb murmurs back, barely separating from Molly to say it. Molly sends up a prayer to the Moonweaver in thanks for the wonderful gift and to beg for strength; his heart is so full of joyous blinding light that he’s afraid it’s going to explode.

Caleb chuckles softly. It’s a real laugh though, not a polite laugh or an anxious laugh or a stifled laugh, but a real laugh that bubbles with amusement. If Molly didn’t know better he’d think Caleb was _trying_ to drive him crazy with how adorable this relaxed and happy side of him is. He wants to hear that laugh again. It only lasted a second, but the smile that accompanied it is still there. Molly is torn between staring at it until he has it memorized or kissing Caleb again so he can feel it against his own mouth.

Instead he asks, “What?” If he learns what made Caleb laugh, then he can do it all the time. His tail thumps excitedly on the mattress.

Caleb bites his lip, but he keeps smiling. “ _Dein, mein, ganz allein, was kann es sonst sein?_ ” It’s a song. By all that is good in this world, Molly can barely handle all of this at once. A smile, a laugh, and then a _song?_ If his heart were capable of orgasming Molly would be at his climax right about now. He has heard Caleb sing in taverns when he’s drunk, little nonsense songs or snippets of Zemnian drinking songs, but this is a sweet cheerful song, almost like a children's skipping game song but with a smoother lilt to it. Caleb’s singing voice is rough the way the sound of crashing waves is rough; it’s not the smooth clear warble of a forest stream, but it’s soothing nonetheless, especially in such a joyous tune.

“What does it mean?” Molly asks, grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh, er, it is…” Caleb goes rosy in the face. “Ah, I suppose the best way to say it in Common is ‘Yours, mine, and no one else’s, what else can it be?’ but it’s from an old Zemnian love song. The chorus…um, translates roughly to ‘We share a heart that was broken in two from the day we were born and made whole the first time we said _I love you_ , so this love can only be ours.’ These days it’s sort of a joke. People will sing ‘ _Dein, mein, ganz allein_ ’ at any couple that is acting too…uhh… _lovey-dovey_ or otherwise unnecessarily romantic in public to tease them.”

Molly’s grin curls into something more devilish. “Mister Caleb, are you insinuating that this is too romantic for you?” He trails his fingers down Caleb’s torso to caress them along his thigh. “Because I can be more forward if you want me to be.”

Caleb closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “No, I— I mean, yes, I— Molly I want all of it from you. I-I like thinking of you as mine and vice versa, but—” Caleb swallows, “— _lieber Götter_ , I want to— to please you so much.”

“You’ve done a good job of that already,” Molly says. “Just being here with you, seeing you happy, darling it’s the most pleased I’ve been in a long time.”

“But I wanted to…to…” Caleb’s ears are so red they make his hair look dull brown.

Molly bites his lip and cocks an eyebrow. “You wanted to fuck?”

Caleb goes perfectly still for a heartbeat or two. “… _ja_ , that.”

“Well, we’ve got too many clothes on for that, don’t you think?”

“I-I-I sssuppose we do.” Caleb fiddles with the strap of his belt. “Um, I’ve…I’ve never…uh…Eodwulf and I didn’t— I _have,_ th-though it was only ever Astrid and I, and… I-I-I mean, I’ve _read_ smut wwwith two men, but I haven’t…um…” He quivers slightly, eyes to the floor. “I want to. I _do_. But…”

Molly holds back a laugh. He’s not about to add to Caleb’s insecurities. It’s adorable though. Molly skipped his awkward puberty years — yet another benefit of waking up in a fully-grown body — though he had heard about other people’s. From what he understands there’s a lot of fumbling experimentation and shyness with people who choose to pursue sex. Molly essentially moved right on to hiring professionals. His only experimentation was in finding out his preferences, and frankly now it was easier to list things he _didn’t_ like.

“It’s alright,” Molly says, lightly butting Caleb with one horn. “Everyone starts somewhere. Did you want to give or receive?”

“W-Whatever pleases you most.”

Molly kisses Caleb’s cheek. “It would _greatly_ please me to sexually pamper you and give you the best first-time-receiving experience I can.”

Caleb trembles harder, though not from fear. There’s a wild excitement in his eyes tempered by his Zemnian disposition. If he had any less self-control he might have already flung himself onto Molly’s cock, or so Molly likes to think. But what he has in mind requires a bit more patience.

They both strip and put the honey within arm’s reach. Equally accessible but on the floor are three damp rags and the pitcher of water. Molly fluffs his pillow and lays it halfway down the bed with another rag covering it. In its original place he folds his coat for Caleb to rest his head on. He instructs Caleb to lie down with his hips on the pillow, which Caleb does with careful movements, trying to hide both his eagerness and his anxiety. Molly will see to it that he’s properly relaxed before he lays a finger inside him.

Molly kneels on the extension to the bed and takes a moment to drink in the sight before him. Like something out of a dream, Caleb is laid out for him, knees slightly bent and legs apart invitingly, cock resting on the jut of his hipbone. He’s not as scrawny as he was when they first met, but he’s lean. Molly imagines what he must have been like as a student, well-fed and well-groomed, a prize of the Academy lauded for his talents and loyalty. And they treated him like just another disposable pawn in their war games. How could they do that to such a man? Not even a man then, a _boy_. Molly isn’t sure what’s _supposed_ to happen at a school for magic, but he gets the feeling that Caleb’s biggest concerns should have been studying for tests and dealing with all the other students vying for his attention and affection, not perfecting execution techniques and suffering through mutilation in the name of “research”. Molly’s tail lashes in anger. The world has done wrong by Caleb. It’s time to set some things right.

Starting from the bottom and working his way up, Molly crouches down on all fours to kiss Caleb’s feet. Then he focuses on one leg and kisses his ankle, his shin, his knee, his thigh, all the while caressing the other leg with his tail. He goes slowly, taking his time to appreciate Caleb’s body and thank it for getting him this far. He only leaves a few inches between kisses, at most. By the time he reaches Caleb’s cock it’s hard enough to stand erect a little. Molly kisses his way up that as well.

Caleb lets out a breathy whisper of a sigh. “Molly…”

But Molly is far from done. He drags the underside of his tongue down the shaft to kiss both of Caleb’s balls. Caleb’s cock twitches into Molly’s horn. He squirms with another soft sigh. Molly lingers there a moment longer to take in the warm scent. It’s so potently Caleb, masculine and magical. He licks the base of Caleb’s cock to taste him. Marvelous. Molly’s heart thuds frantically to keep up with his arousal. His extremities tingle. He grips Caleb’s waist with one hand to pull himself further up.

Caleb spasms. Something that could be a strangled yelp or a smothered laugh escapes his throat. Molly glances up to see Caleb bunching his shoulders and biting his lips.

“…Are you ticklish?”

“No,” comes the immediate reply.

Molly grins. He squeezes Caleb again. This time he manages to get a full bark of laughter from him as his whole body wriggles. “You _are_ ticklish.” Molly sits up so he can use both hands to gently pinch Caleb.

Caleb flails, arms waving wildly in an attempt to knock Molly away. Gods, that laugh is beautiful though, so Molly holds on. However, through his giggles Caleb begs, “Molly— Stop— _Bitte_ — I— Hahaha it’s not funny— Please—”

“Okay, since you said please.” Molly rubs Caleb with flat palms. That doesn’t get the same reaction. He does it some more to soothe him. “I promise I won’t tell the others, but I can’t promise I won’t do that to you when we’re alone. I love to hear you laugh.”

“ _Ja_?” Caleb is panting. He smiles. “Am I allowed to do the same?”

“You _could_ , but I’m not ticklish.” That’s a lie. Molly’s feet are _extremely_ ticklish, but they’re ticklish in the way that he reflexively kicks anyone who touches them too lightly. Not the kind of thing you want in the bedroom. “Now, where was I? Ah, yes.”

Molly leans back down to kiss along Caleb’s waistline, starting from one crest of his hip and moving slowly to the other. The mood shifted considerably during his tickle attack. He wants to make it calm and sensual again. Caleb arcs his back and spreads his legs wider to push up into Molly’s mouth. He hums at every kiss. His cock rises against Molly’s throat. Molly nuzzles it between his chin and shoulder.

Next he kisses up Caleb’s treasure trail towards his ribs. Caleb’s belly is soft yet tight. Caleb strokes his hair once, twice, then his hand comes to rest on the back of Molly’s neck as Molly explores his chest with kisses, seeking out the most sensitive places. He finds several. Caleb is making those little noises of pleasure Molly loves so much. This is exactly what he wanted, to give Caleb the adoration he deserves and have fun while doing it.

Molly moves along to Caleb’s shoulder, then down the back of his arm, relishing the soft brush of hair against his lips. He kisses each individual finger, those clever fingers that can command fire with powerful mastery yet turn the pages of Caleb’s beloved books with such delicate care. He turns Caleb’s hand over to kiss his palm, then makes his way back to his shoulder by way of the underside, once again taking his time to kiss every scar. Then he switches to the other shoulder and does the same with that arm.

When Molly returns to Caleb’s throat, he holds himself up on his forearms so he isn’t completely trapping him, though Caleb’s cock is firmly pressed into his abdomen. Caleb snakes his hands around Molly’s back and pushes down. Molly carefully lowers himself to splay out over Caleb’s chest.

“This is okay for you?” Molly murmurs. “It doesn’t make you uncomfortable at all?”

Caleb shakes his head. “ _Nein_ , I like the…the…erm…” He mutters to himself, “ _Druck… Druck…_ _Drücken…_ Press… Ah, _pressure_. I like the pressure. I have Frumpkin sleep on my chest sometimes because it feels good.”

Molly smiles. “I’m a bit larger than Frumpkin, but who am I to deny you your simple pleasures? Speaking of which…” He scoots just enough so his mouth can reach the underside of Caleb’s jaw. His tail swishes back and forth lazily over their legs as he nuzzles and kisses every inch of Caleb’s neck. He stays there a bit longer than originally intended because Caleb said he liked it. Then he finishes by leaving kisses on Caleb’s lips, nose, forehead, and the crown of his head, buried deep in the auburn waves of hair.

“How was that?” Molly asks quietly with a quicker kiss to Caleb’s forehead.

Caleb takes a deep breath and lets it out though his nose as he squirms and stretches. “That was quite lovely, Mollymauk. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

That puts a wrinkle back in Caleb’s nose. Molly kisses it. It doesn’t go away, but Caleb does smile for half a second. “This is not how I thought this was going to go.”

Molly pushes himself up to better look at Caleb. “Oh?”

Caleb bites his lip. “Mollymauk I— As wonderful as this is, I feel I should take a more active role. _I_ wanted to please _you_ after all.”

Molly caresses the back of his hand up Caleb’s throat. “I told you what you could do to please me already,” he says. “It didn’t seem like something you were comfortable with.”

“What was it?”

“Touch yourself.”

“...Oh. _Ja_ , you did say that...” Caleb blows out another deep breath. “Well, it wasn’t so much that I was u-uncomfortable, I just didn’t see how that would...would be beneficial for _you_.”

“It would. Trust me.” Molly takes Caleb’s hand. “Tell you what, why don’t you get yourself started for me? I can’t go sticking my dick in you with no preparation. That would be terribly rude of me. But you use one finger, then I’ll add one of mine, and we can see how that feels, okay?”

The rosy hue on Caleb’s cheeks spreads across his face and darkens. “I— I— I’m not— I’ve never—“

Molly kisses his hand. “It’s easy. Just one finger, and you’ll know when you’re doing it right.” He props himself on his elbows over Caleb’s chest so he can use both hands to gently press Caleb’s palm and flex his fingers one by one. “It could be this one,” he says to Caleb’s index finger, pulling it into his mouth with his tongue to suck it for a second or two. “It could be _this_ one,” he says to the middle finger, doing the same to it. He says, “Or it could be _this_ one,” to the ring finger before he sucks it, then “Or _this_ one,” to the pinky, which he takes all the way into his mouth and wraps the prongs of his tongue around it, since it’s the only one skinny enough that they can almost meet on the other side.

Caleb presses his head back into Molly’s folded coat. He moans a tiny hushed whimper. “Okay,” he says.

“Good boy.” Molly lifts himself with the same difficulty of climbing out of a nice bath after floating in it for an hour. His chest is cold and his limbs are heavy and recalcitrant, but he uses what’s left of his willpower to get himself up and sitting on his heels between Caleb’s legs. He gently guides Caleb into position, spreading his own bent legs to drape Caleb’s thighs over them and open him further. Caleb’s hole is revealed, pretty and pale with a meager dusting of rusty hair around it. Molly admires it for a moment. If he hadn’t just gotten them into a comfortable arrangement he would flatten himself to the bed and kiss it as well.

Both of them are harder than steel. While Caleb prepares the honey, Molly strokes him. His cock is warm even to Molly’s hot-blooded palm. Caleb’s eyes roll back briefly, but he has to concentrate. He scoops up a bit of honey onto three fingers and gathers a mote of fire in his palm. The honey melts enough to drip onto his stomach. He extinguishes the flame. Molly contorts his back to bend over and lick up the spilled honey. Even after it’s clean he continues to kiss and lick until the stretch in his spine turns painful.

Molly takes some of the honey for his own fingers. The warm stickiness is oddly pleasant. It's so thin that he has to constantly rotate his wrist to keep it from dripping. He balances his wrist on Caleb’s thigh and caresses his hip with his other hand. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Caleb reaches between his legs. His forefinger finds his hole. He eases it inside himself with a soft grunt. The first knuckle passes through the tight ring, then the second, then he’s in as far as he can go. His brow furrows for a split second, then his eyes go wide and his mouth drops open in a shallow gasp.

“Found it, did ya?” Molly chuckles.

“Uhhh _hhhhh_ uh.” A tendon in Caleb’s hand flexes and his other fingers twitch as he explores this new feeling. His cock leans heavily into his forearm. Molly is so fucking turned on right now it’s a wonder he isn’t drenched in precum yet. He watches until his patience wears thin.

“Ready for a second one?” he asks.

Caleb pants. “ _M-Moment noch…_ ” He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, then nods.

Molly uses his thumb to pull Caleb open enough for him to slip a finger in next to Caleb’s. Caleb writhes. Molly pats him. “You’re doing great, darling. Don’t be afraid to tell me if it’s too much.” The honey _is_ surprisingly effective. Even when Caleb occasionally clenches around him, Molly has no problem gliding his finger in and out in slow sensual strokes.

They continue like this until Caleb is accustomed to it. He becomes so relaxed he starts playing with his cock a little, eyes closed and a subtle smile on his lips. Molly’s insides feel like boiling gold. This is exactly what he wanted to see. However, his own cock is jealous of his finger, but it’s not quite time for that.

“Think you can do another?”

Caleb doesn’t answer right away. He takes a few heavy breaths first. “…Maybe.”

Molly rubs Caleb’s knee. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m fairly thick. If you can’t take three, you can’t take me. Would you rather try with another of your fingers or one of mine?”

This doesn’t require as much deliberation. “Yours,” Caleb replies.

“Okay. Try to relax…” Molly stretches Caleb with the finger he already has inside him to make room. Caleb clenches his teeth and exhales with a hiss. Molly frowns. “Alright?”

Caleb nods. “I’ll be fine. Keep going. Please.”

There’s no way Molly can refuse him. It’s somewhat of an odd configuration, but they make it work. Molly wraps his hand around Caleb’s and together they tease and toy with Caleb’s hole. It’s so intimate, almost romantic. Molly doesn’t really do romance. Flirting, yes. Seduction, well…he tries. Looking the way he does, many potential partners are put off at first. He finds most success with hired companions and people who just want to say they've fucked a tiefling, and neither of those requires romance. Caleb deserves to be treated well, though, and Molly intends to treat him like the treasure he is.

Eventually Caleb says, “I want you, now. I want you to fuck me, please.” His accent is thick, his voice breathy, his eyes ever so slightly unfocused. Poor dear is probably on the verge of desperation.

“Okay, give me just a moment, darling. I need a little more honey, if you don’t mind.”

They both extract their hands and Molly wipes them down with one of the damp rags. Sufficiently clean, Caleb prepares more honey. Molly leans back to let him apply it. The warmth and pressure of Caleb’s honey-coated hand sends blissful shivers through Molly’s body. He has half a mind to lie back and let Caleb do this until he cums. That would be too selfish of him. While Caleb did come here with the intent of pleasing him, Molly promised him an experience, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t make good on his promise.

Molly sucks some of the honey off Caleb’s fingers as he adjusts himself into position. Caleb has the sort of adoration in his eyes Molly usually only sees in the devout during worship. He lays his other hand on Molly’s hip gingerly, as though afraid his touch is defiling, yet there’s a need to his grip, a longing to feel the divine flow through him. Molly smiles. He _is_ a god, isn’t he? He declared himself one, not so long ago. “I am your god,” he had said, draped in his tapestry and holding aloft his leftovers. “Long may I reign.” And now Caleb had come like a worshiper to his temple with an offering of honey and flesh. Molly is a fair and benevolent god. He will gladly bestow a blessing of pleasure on this human, as well as any other blessing that is his to give. After all, this is a fine _fine_ offering. It deserves a fine favor in return.

“Ready?” Molly asks.

Caleb nods.

“Okay then, deep breath in…out…and relax…” Molly nuzzles the tip of his cock to Caleb’s sweetened hole, then slowly, carefully, tenderly slides it in. Caleb inhales sharply. His mouth opens in what could be a silent wail. He clenches around Molly’s cock. Molly strokes his thighs. “Is that too much?”

Caleb swallows. “It is…a lot, but I-I don’t think it is too much.”

“Don’t let me hurt you just because you don’t want to tell me no. If this isn’t good for you then it won’t be good for me. Um…how do you say ‘fuck off’ in Zemnian?”

“ _Verpist dich._ ”

“Okay, then say that if you want me to stop, alright? In fact, say it once now, for practice.”

Caleb hesitates, then holds up his fingers in air quotes. “‘ _Verpist dich_ ’.”

“There. Not so hard, is it?” Molly nudges his hips forward and looks to Caleb for confirmation. Caleb gives him a single nod. “Okay darling, and remember to _relax_.” Molly withdraws to his tip. Caleb takes a long shuddering breath. Molly eases back in as gently as before. Caleb lets out a low moan.

Molly wants to fuck him hard and fast, the way he usually does it. All those other times have been with inconsequential people though. He was just trying to get off, and while he found all his previous partners very attractive, there was no real connection, no emotion behind the pleasure. Caleb is special. Caleb _means_ something. Everything could go to shit when they reach this island. Molly lives every day like it could be his last, but that used to involve cramming as many fun things into a short time span as he could. Now all he wants is Caleb. He wants to draw this out as long as he can. If this is one of the last things Caleb will remember about him, he has to make each second count.

To keep himself at a steady pace, Molly thinks about the waves on the beach. They had been so calming and persistent. In and out like breathing, pushing and pulling. Molly closes his eyes and pretends he is the ocean. He pulls back slowly, water returning to the depths, but then he crashes gently forward in a wave of lavender skin onto the pale shore. Back out again, then another wave, and another… another… another… Serene and sensual. Caleb eventually syncs his breathing in time with Molly’s thrusts, inhaling as he moves out and exhaling when his cock forces its way back in. It sounds like the waves, almost, muted, muffled. It’s perfect.

Caleb’s arms twitch and clench awkwardly. Right as Molly is about to ask what’s wrong, Caleb lifts them beckoningly. He whimpers with pleading eyes. There’s a tug in Molly’s chest as though their hearts have been connected by strong rope and Caleb is reeling him in. Molly can’t resist. He doesn’t want to. He lifts Caleb by the hips so he can stretch his legs out from under him and lay himself overtop of him. His cock almost slips out, but Molly anchors his tail around Caleb’s thigh to bring them back together. Caleb hooks Molly into an embrace and kisses him.

Molly nearly loses himself in Caleb’s mouth. Instinct and habit drive him to be rougher for a moment, but he calms his thrusts back to their slower pace. Even if this didn’t feel as good as it does — and it feels _amazing_ — he’s enjoying the sounds Caleb is making in response to it. They aren’t as anxious as the ones he made when Molly was on top of him yesterday. They’re chesty and soft yet so strong Molly feels them as much as he hears them.

This might be the most blissful sexual experience Molly has ever had. It hasn’t completely turned him off from sex with anyone else, but he knows it will always be different with Caleb, deeper, _better_ in a sense of the word Molly isn’t sure he can articulate. This isn’t a means to an end so he can cum or work off some stress; there are _real_ emotions behind this. They burn in Molly’s core and every little moan and gasp from Caleb is like blowing on hot coals. If this keeps up he’ll be a roaring inferno by the time he climaxes.

For what could be an hour or a few minutes there is nothing but the quiet sounds of two bodies entwined in intimate passions. Skin sliding over skin. Lips coming together and parting. Gasping panting breaths. Whispered moans and lustful sighs. Honey being massaged along Molly’s cock by Caleb’s tight hole. The symphony is kept in time by the rush of Molly’s heartbeat in his ears. Then Caleb adds vocals to the piece.

“ _Molly_ …” he murmurs, his voice strained and timid. “ _Mollymauk, liebst du mich?_ ”

Molly traces the tip of his nose up the shell of Caleb’s ear. “What was that?” he asks with a kiss.

Caleb digs his fingernails into Molly’s shoulder blade. Between deep breaths he says, “I— I asked if you— if you love me— Molly— my Molly—”

The answer Molly wants to give is that of course he does. He loves everyone in their odd little family. But that’s not what Caleb is asking. Caleb, _his_ Caleb, emotionally savaged by cruelty and on the run from the hell they chose for him, is asking about _love_.

Yasha had told Molly about what it’s like to be in love, to belong _to_ someone. Until now Molly has only known what it’s like to belong in a group. But hearing Caleb declare him _his_ , knowing they belong to each other, it’s a feeling Molly has no words for because no word in his vocabulary can properly describe how glorious and wonderful and comforting it is. It’s like the times he was stuck in the wagon for a week of traveling due to rain and then finally had a night warm and dry and clear enough to sleep outside again. Except this is as though he had never been outside the wagon before, had never seen the stars above him or felt the soft soil and grass beneath him. Yes, he loses some of the security that comes with isolation, but he gains so much in return. He gains the glistening beauty of Caleb’s eyes, the softness of his smile, the safety in knowing that his heart has a home.

“Yes.” Molly buries his cock into Caleb as far as it will go and holds it there while he looks down into Caleb’s eyes. The pupils are so wide that his irises are little more than coronas of midnight around the new moons. Molly loves him, loves every little detail about him. It’s so obvious yet somehow he never understood it until now. “Yes, my Caleb, I love you.”

For some reason, Caleb’s brow furrows. “ _Ja_?” He almost sounds…disappointed?

“What? Did you want me to say no?”

“ _Nein, aber_ — but do you mean it? This isn’t one of your lies to protect me from—”

Molly captures Caleb’s mouth in a kiss so he can’t talk himself into disbelief. The world falls away until it’s just this room, this bed, the heat of their breath across each other’s cheeks. Molly cups the back of Caleb’s neck and presses their foreheads together.

“Caleb, my love, I mean it with every piece of my heart. I mean it more than I’ve meant anything in my life, because when I’m with you I feel like _I_ mean something. I don’t have to lie or exaggerate to be special.” Molly smiles with a soft chuckle. “For the first time, I feel secure in myself. Who I am is Mollymauk Tealeaf, and I love Caleb Widogast.” He nudges his nose to Caleb’s. “The real question is…does he love me back?”

The sparkle in Caleb’s eyes condenses to their corners when he blinks. Another blink sends a tear rolling down into his hair, fanned out across Molly’s coat. “I do,” he says. He laughs through a beaming grin. The music of it fills Molly with joy. “I _do._ _Ich liebe dich, mein Schatz. Ich liebe dich so sehr…_ ” He lifts his chin at the exact moment that Molly leans down. They kiss with such passion that Molly’s tail nearly ties itself in knots trying to express his elation.

Molly continues fucking Caleb, but that’s not his priority anymore. He thrusts enough to stimulate Caleb’s pleasure points and maintain his own arousal. His hips move only an inch or two in either direction, keeping things simple and slow. Meanwhile he and Caleb enjoy kiss after kiss after kiss, parting only to affectionately say the other’s name and repeat through smiles and laughter “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Perhaps Caleb says it over and over to make up for all the times he never said it, but Molly does it to compensate for all the times in the future he won’t be able to.

Caleb gropes for the honey. Molly worries they’re being too rough, but then Caleb bares his throat and smears a line of honey on it. The smear happens to be in a spot Molly took note of earlier because Caleb seemed to like it so much. He doesn’t need a second invitation. He licks up the honey and wipes away the last remnants with his lips. Caleb weaves his honey-free fingers through Molly’s hair and wipes the rest of the honey off in the same spot to encourage him to keep going. Molly obeys, but he doesn’t bite or even nip the way he wants to lest it leaves a lasting mark. As much as he would love to be open about his feelings with Caleb around the others, something tells him this isn’t the right time. For now he’ll relish every private moment he has.

Molly dips two fingers in the honey as well. He spreads it over the prongs of his tongue and holds it out for Caleb to take into his own mouth. Even after the honey has been licked away they stay in this deep kiss. Caleb wraps his legs around Molly’s waist. He bucks up into him and moans against Molly’s lips. Molly thrusts a little harder. Caleb whimpers a begging squeal. He darts his tongue repeatedly into Molly’s. He’s begging him to go faster. Molly doesn’t want to go too fast in case it hurts Caleb, but he picks up speed until Caleb is panting into his mouth.

This shouldn’t have to end. Molly should be able to stay here as long as he wants, as long as Caleb wants. They’ll fuck and cuddle for days on end. Neither of them will ever be in danger again. No one will ever find them or separate them. They’ll bask in each other’s love without having to worry which of them will be the next to die. Molly has come to terms with his own death, but if anything happened to Caleb…

Nothing will. No harm will come to him. Molly will protect him. Molly will do anything for him. He’ll keep Caleb safe and happy the way he is now. It’s bullshit, an unrealistic dream, but Molly has told lies enough times to make them come true before. Every thrust and kiss and caress is a promise that everything is going to be okay.

Molly tenderly grabs Caleb’s cock. It has been rubbing pleasantly between them, but Molly want Caleb to get off. Caleb presses his forehead to Molly’s. “ _Bitte_ ,” he moans. “ _Mehr. Ich will mehr. Mollymauk, bitte_ …” Molly doesn’t have to understand Zemnian to interpret Caleb’s pleas. He pumps him in time with his thrusts, aided by the layer of honey on his fingertips. Caleb throws his head back and covers his mouth to stifle a soft scream. Molly kisses the back of Caleb’s hand. Caleb grabs him and yanks him into a proper kiss.

“Horns,” Molly pants. “You can— hold my horns— It’s okay— I like it—”

Caleb runs his hands over the curve of Molly’s horns. He clenches his fists around their middle. Molly tightens his own grip on Caleb’s cock and slams his hips into Caleb’s with more force. His tail is as tight as a bow with the string pulled taut. So far Caleb hasn’t told him that this is too much but Molly decides this will be as hard as he goes. If he ups the intensity anymore he’ll lose himself in the fevered rush to climax and there’s no telling what that’d do to Caleb.

As it is, Caleb seems fine with this pace. He directs Molly where he wants him to kiss or nuzzle, or tugs his head back so he can lavish Molly’s throat. Gods, his lips and tongue feel so damn _good_ on Molly’s skin. Warm, soft, slick, accompanied by the rasp of Caleb’s beard, it’s enough to get Molly on the verge of drooling. He settles for making delighted noises and whacking the bed with his tail when Caleb finds any of his favorite spots.

There’s one spot Caleb keeps missing, no matter how much Molly shimmies or mentally wills him to go there. Molly snatches up more honey, slathers a fingerful onto the crook of his shoulder, then uses the rest to continue stroking Caleb’s cock. Caleb pulls on Molly’s horn to better bare his neck and goes for the honey immediately. Molly’s breath hitches. His heart thrashes in his chest. He slides his arm under Caleb’s head to hold him there.

“Bite, darling.”

Caleb’s blunt teeth dig into Molly’s skin. Molly shudders and his eyes roll back. It’s like he plunged headfirst into a hot spring after performing an airborne tumble. His stomach leaps. His toes curl. He’s so close, _so close_ , and Caleb bites him harder to muffle his own cries of need. Just a little more… Almost there…

 _Ohhhhh,_ _Caleb._

Molly pushes himself to the hilt into Caleb’s ass. The tight space fills with cum. It mingles with the honey and floods around Molly’s cock. Molly grabs a rag so he can hold it under them as he pulls out. It’s a mess. Glistening fluid leaks from Caleb’s hole in streaks of gold and white. Molly covers him with the rag and turns his focus to getting Caleb off.

Without Molly’s shoulder, Caleb bites into the meat of his own hand. Molly offers him his tail, but Caleb merely clutches it and continues to bite himself. His face is a burning shade of pink. Every stroke and squeeze draws another moan up from his chest. His cock throbs imploringly in Molly’s palm.

Molly shifts back on the bed so he can lick the honey from Caleb’s cockhead. Caleb squeals around his mouthful. His other hand grabs Molly’s horn again, urging him down. Molly grips him hard around the base and licks and sucks the delicious glaze off Caleb’s skin. When there’s no more he kisses the soft head. His tongue flicks out to tease Caleb’s slit the way he knows Caleb likes it.

“ _Molly!_ ”

The sudden cry sends a jolt of alarm down Molly’s spine. He snaps his head up to check on Caleb. A split second later a spatter of warm cum shoots onto his throat. More spills out in a final spurt down Caleb’s shaft and onto Molly’s hand. Molly blinks as his head clears. He smiles. He bends down for one more kiss. Caleb tastes like smoked and salted venison with an aftertaste of something similar to the smell of summer rain on stone.

Molly gets them both cleaned up and moves the pillow from under Caleb’s hips back to the head of the bed. Caleb rolls onto his side to drink the water Molly offers him. “I feel like I didn’t do anything again,” he says. “I just…lay there, and now _you_ are taking care of _me_ , even though I wanted to…um…” He swirls the water in his glass. “Well I guess it doesn’t matter now.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Molly sits on the bed and puts his hand on Caleb’s waist. He resists the urge to tickle him. “You came here with the intent of pleasing me and you did a damn good job. You didn’t ‘just lay there’. I would have stopped if you did because it’d mean you weren’t into it. And I like taking caring of my friends. I’ve just…never had a friend who I could fuck before.”

“…No?”

“Not really. Never stayed in one place long enough to make lasting friends. And we weren’t…” Molly huffs out a sigh. “We weren’t _like that_ in the carnival. We were a family. We loved each other, we hated each other, but we were close enough that that would have been far too weird.” He smiles. “I’ve also never been in love before, but here we are.”

Caleb tries to hide his own smile by drinking more water. It doesn’t hide the return of the color in his cheeks that had been gradually fading. “You always did have strange tastes,” he says.

Molly scoffs. “Ex _cuse_ me, but I have _impeccable_ taste. If anything, I surprised someone so practical and put together wants anything to do with _this_ disaster.”

Caleb laughs. “Oh, I wouldn’t call myself put together at all. I’d like to think I’ve been doing better than I was when we first met. I didn’t think I’d fall in love again at all, but…love is odd that way, I suppose.”

“It sure is.” Molly takes the water from Caleb, chugs the rest, and sets the glass on the floor. He nudges Caleb onto his back. “I think I like it, though,” he says, straddling Caleb’s hips. He crouches over Caleb’s chest in his best impression of Frumpkin, arms tucked in with his hands drooping off Caleb’s shoulders and his tail swaying lazily above him. “Is this okay?”

Caleb nods. “ _Ja_ , you’re fine.”

“And…everything else was too? I didn’t hurt you?”

Caleb puts a hand on Molly’s neck to pull him down for a kiss. Molly relaxes into it, further pinning his arms between them. This is quickly becoming his favorite thing, just kissing Caleb like nothing else in the world matters. It combines several of his other favorite things, like physical contact, displays of affection, and making Caleb happy. However, it’s not an answer to his question. He lets Caleb keep kissing him for only another half a minute before pulling away.

“Darling, if we’re going to do this again, I need to know what was good for you and what wasn’t.” Molly kisses Caleb’s cheek. “Unless you don’t want to do this again?”

“ _Doch_ , I…I enjoyed it very much. It, erm, was…uncomfortable at first, but once I got used to it…” Caleb licks his lips and smiles. “I also get the feeling you were being kind to me. Thank you. I think I’d like— I’d like to uh, t-t-to do the same for you, sometime.”

Molly grins. “Are you saying you want to fuck my pretty little arse, Mister Caleb?” He reaches his tail between Caleb’s legs to caress him. “I’d like that, too.” He shifts his position so he can lie flat on top of Caleb and use his mouth to toy with Caleb’s ear.

Caleb holds Molly in a content embrace. His hands gradually work their way down Molly’s back. He takes hold of the base of Molly’s tail and strokes it the way he might stroke his cock. Molly spasms then melts over Caleb’s torso. He hums loudly to show his appreciation.

“Now you’ve done it,” Molly says matter-of-factly. “I’m turning into an ooze and I’m going to devour you.” He creeps his arms around Caleb and pretends to constrict him, complete with squishy sound effects.

Caleb laughs. “So long as you are not an arcane ooze I can probably still defeat you.” He grins. “I have to thank you again for getting me that book last week. Now I’m prepared for any creature, be they devils or beasts or even fearsome oozes.”

Molly grips Caleb tighter. “Well I’m a beastly devil ooze, and there is no escape. Accept your fate, Caleb. Become one with me.” He tucks his lips around his teeth and languidly gnaws Caleb’s neck.

“Ah, but I know how to deal with beastly devil oozes,” Caleb says. “They are quite prone to distractions…” He trails his fingers up Molly’s tail to the cleft of his ass. Molly has already ceased his nibbling as his body twitches in pleasure, but then Caleb prods until he finds Molly’s hole. He teases the rim with one fingertip, but doesn’t enter him. Even so, the stimulation is enough to send Molly’s heart into a frantic flutter. His spent cock stirs.

“Uhh _hhhgn_ Caleb I love you so much, you beautiful scoundrel. I love you more and more with every passing moment.”

Caleb massages him harder. “You’re just saying that because you are horny.”

“No, no I mean it. I’ve loved you and cared for you for weeks, and now I know this other side of you and I have even more to love.” Molly presses a long kiss to Caleb’s throat. “Thank you, my Caleb. Thank you for showing this to me.”

“…Do you love me enough to stay alive?”

“Of course. Darling I don’t want to leave you.”

The rubbing stops. “Does that mean you’ll let us resurrect you if we need to?”

Ah. _That_ kind of “staying alive”. Molly closes his eyes and presses his forehead to Caleb’s cheek. “You might not like what happens if you try.”

“...You are afraid you would be ‘empty’ again, aren’t you?”

Molly shrugs. “That too.” He pushes himself up to be eye-to-eye with Caleb. “Look, I don’t have _plans_ to die, but it’s clear that I _might_ , like it or not, and I’d rather not put you through the stress of a worst-case scenario if the resurrection fails, or even a second-worst. I’m not worth it.” He smiles. “Besides, you have Caduceus now. He’s done more for this group than I ever did. You’ll—“

“Herr Clay _has_ done us a huge favor,” Caleb interrupts. “He gave _you_ back to us. You say I shouldn’t sell myself short, well _hör zu_.” Caleb grabs Molly by the face, his thumbs pressing into the base of Molly’s horns to keep him from looking away. His eyes bear such intense determination that Molly loses himself in their heat for a moment, surrendering once again to the charm they cast without using a single ounce of magic. “You. Mean. _Everything_. To me.” His nose wrinkles slightly as he inhales a sharp breath. “You are afraid of what could go wrong if we try to bring you back? Then we won’t let it come to that. And even if it does, if the worst should occur and you don’t come back, we will fight for you. We will find you. The world needs you in it, Mollymauk. _I_ need you.”

“Caleb…” Molly tries to think how best he can say this, how he can make Caleb understand he doesn’t have to go through all that trouble. “I love you. I love you so very much, but I can’t be your entire world. What about the others? Would you do the same for them? Or do they mean nothing to you now? What about— about your parents?”

Caleb goes quiet for a moment. His hold on Molly’s face softens to something more tender. “I still care about them, _ja_. I still want to help them. But…my Mollymauk, I’m afraid—” He swallows. “I’m afraid I would go irredeemably mad if I had to watch you die again, knowing you’re not coming back. It’s a selfish _selfish_ reason to want to keep you alive, but…my heart would never recover. Especially not now that I…that I know what it’s like to be happy again.” He lets go of Molly so he can cover his own face. He shakes his head and mutters to himself, “Selfish, selfish, _selfish_ …”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Molly slips his hand under Caleb’s to caress his cheek. “You have been through so much pain, it’s understandable that you don’t want any more. Frankly I’d be worried if you did. My Caleb, I don’t want to die either, but the fact is that I will someday. Tomorrow, next week, next year, maybe longer by some miracle. Whenever it happens, though, you have to be strong for me, okay? And…regardless of how I die, remember that I have no regrets. Death doesn’t bother me anymore. I just don’t want you all to do something stupidly heroic because you think I would have wanted you to. I’ve spent the past two and a half years making up for all the time I never had or never will. I didn’t think things could get better until I joined this group, and just now I’ve reached a new peak of joy because I found out you love me.” He smiles fiendishly. “I’m not about to let that slip away so easily. I’ll fight until I’ve got no blood left, just to stay with you. I need you too, Caleb.”

Caleb peeks out from behind his hands. His eyes are pink around the edges. Molly barely has time to open his mouth to tell him it’ll be alright when Caleb yanks him down into a kiss. There’s no need to say anything else. They’re together, and that’s what matters. Molly hates that he had to lie, but he can’t let Caleb think that he would face death with fear and pain in his heart. He used to have no regrets because he hadn’t really done anything with his life. Now, he’d beg for more time, another undeserved chance, anything that would let him hold onto this new life as long as he could. Maybe the winged half-elf Molly has seen when he’s on the edge of death would take pity on him. Maybe he was watching now and could see how much Molly and Caleb mean to each other and grant them both some luck. Yet how lucky Molly has been to have this at all. He kisses Caleb hard to squeeze out every ounce of joy that luck has brought him.

A knock at the door makes Molly jump.

“Hey Molly?” It’s Caduceus.

“Yeah?” Molly replies, trying to hide his adrenaline-frayed nerves.

“Fjord wants us all to meet up in his room before lunch. Are you uh, almost done with your self-care time?”

Molly looks down at Caleb. If it were up to him, they’d stay like this all afternoon. Caleb shrugs with a little smile. “Yeah, maybe another twenty minutes? Half an hour?”

“Okay. And tell Mister Caleb if you see him. No one seems to know where he is.”

“Probably off practicing spells or something,” Molly says. “Wasn’t he trying to learn how to become invisible?” Caleb gives him a stern surprised look.

A thoughtful pause on the other side of the door. “Oh. Yeah I guess he was. I hope this means it works. Either way this isn’t a big ship. He’ll show up eventually.”

“Always does.”

“Okay. Sorry for interrupting. See you soon.”

“Thank you, Mister Clay.” Molly waits until he’s sure Caduceus has walked away before he relaxes. “He’s a good guy,” he says to Caleb.

“ _Ja_ , but now he thinks I’ve been practicing invisibility,” Caleb hisses. “What are the others going to think when I can’t do it?”

Molly kisses Caleb’s forehead. “You and I both know Caduceus is more likely to get distracted and forget to tell everyone than anything else. Good guy, but he doesn’t have your mind.” He kisses Caleb again. “Gods, I love your mind.” Then a deep kiss to his mouth. “And the packaging it comes in is marvelous too.”

Caleb struggles to maintain a frown. Molly turns up the cute and Caleb breaks. “You are quite a sight yourself.” He stretches and wriggles out from under Molly. “But I…I suppose I really should get going...”

Molly groans in indignant disagreement and wraps his arms around Caleb. “We’ve got time.”

“...Oh, alright. Five more minutes.” Caleb gets back in bed. They simply hold each other for a while. No words, no kisses, just closeness, intimacy. It gives Molly time to think, which is never good. But eventually he comes to a compromise.

“Caleb, darling?”

“Hm?”

Molly kisses the top of Caleb’s head. “If Caduceus or Jester can confirm that bringing me back will _actually_ bring _me_ back, feel free to resurrect me as many times as you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Honey _was_ used as a form of birth control in Ancient Egypt, as well as acacia gum which was more effective because when exposed to certain body fluids it broke down into a natural spermicide. That being said, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. You can use honey for all the other stuff but I will NOT be held responsible for the consequences of sticking honey up your junk.
> 
> As always, please leave comments letting me know what you liked or wished were different so I know how to improve/continue in later fics! :3


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